LOVE – a journey

Have you ever been love ? Horrible isn’t it ? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens your heart and it’s means that someone can get inside you and can create a mess within you. You build up these defenses, you build this whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt,then one stupid person,no different from any other stupid person,wanders into your stupid life. You give them a piece of you,which never demanded for. They do something dumb one day,like kiss you or smile at you,and then your life isn’t your life anymore. And before that person, you were never so emotional. Noone could make you cry, and noone made you think so hard. But now the tears flow like rain from the saddest sky there is,and you frantic thoughts are tearing you apart.
You know what your problem is ? You get attached fast. And once you’re attached to someone,you do everything you can to please them and make them happy. It’s never been about what you want, it’s always everyone’s need before your own. You give out too many chances to people,who quite frankly,do not deserve them. They take advantage of you, and you become a pushover. But you’re okay with that,because they’re in your life and that’s all you ever really wanted. And even if they screw you over,you’ll still be there for them. Because that’s you, that who you are. Once you get attached to someone they capture your heart and they always have a place there. And that is why it’s so hard for you let them go.
You can’t let yourself fall for the same shit over and over. You can’t allow it to trap you up,and suffocate you until you say what it wants you to say. You can’t allow yourself to yes everytime and fall into it’s arms. You need to get a grip on yourself because each time you say yes, you know for sure it’s going to end up with tears on your side. You know it’s a constant cycle,and it’s bound to happen again. Seriously,get a grip on. Because it’s a monster. It can kill. Love doesn’t kill normally,it slowly eats you up. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness,working it’s way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It hurt soul,and your body. It really gets inside you,and ripe you apart.
You are not going to let it end this way. You are done feeling sorry for yourself,and you are done being broken, and you are done letting them make you feel like that at all. You are going to make yourself stronger,no matter how you have to do it,because these thoughts are enough to drive someone insane, and you are not going to let that happen anymore,you will take a stand. You can’t yourself for trying. You have gone through enough seasons waiting for them with nothing changing but the weather. And now you have say that and show that you are OK being alone. Just over come the false hope that things will go normal, the way you wanted. Just accept that you are enough for yourself. Complete in yourself. You don’t need any fucking person. I know you will never be completely OkK but can get better. Why wasting you like life who doesn’t even worth it. 

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